Cracks in the Foundation
by lateVMlover
Summary: This is my take on what was going through Oliver's head in tonight's episode "Heir of a Demon." Why did he reach out to yet another ex? Don't read this if you haven't watched it as it does contain spoilers. Hints of Olicity.


**Disclaimer: I don't own _Arrow_ or the Green Arrow. Don't read this one-shot if you haven't watch this week's episode of _Arrow._**

**I am crushingly disappointed with tonight's ending of **_**Arrow**_**. Oliver and Sarah hooking up just shows how little either of them have learned. It's a real let down. I wouldn't mind them together if it wasn't just about escaping. I wrote this in an attempt to understand what was pushing Oliver during "Heir to the Demon". Hints of Olicity.**

Cracks in the Foundation

Oliver watched Felicity out of the corner of his eyes as he listened to his mom and Walter outline their plans for her mayoral bid. Something was bothering his IT girl. She hadn't been her normal chatty self all day. He knew that look in her eyes. She'd uncovered something, but for some reason, she wasn't sharing it with him. He watched her speak with Walter. Her conversation didn't seem to alleviate her tension, however.

Oliver wasn't able to focus on what was going on with Felicity for long. He was soon distracted with Sarah's new assassin friend in town. The sight of her kissing the new arrival took him off guard for a minute. He wasn't as shocked as Laurel or their father would be, though. Sarah was unpredictable and passionate. Once she had been a spoiled princess. Yet the shipwreck had done for her what it had done for Oliver—it'd ripped away all the softness. It'd force her to show what she was made of. Like him, she'd become a killer. Like him, she hated the change in herself. Oliver wanted desperately to save her from herself, from the League. He hadn't been able to save Tommy. So far he'd failed with Laurel. Oliver was determined to help Sarah. He couldn't let Sarah run away again. He'd finally learned that running never solved anything. Neither did trying to go at everything alone. Sarah kept trying to do everything herself; he wasn't going to let her.

When he was about to introduce his mother as Starling City's next mayor, he saw the cold look Felicity gave his mother. She turned her back on his family, obviously not happy about his mother's upcoming announcement. That was so unlike her that it struck him hard. He had to know what had put that look on her face.

"What is going on with you?" he asked her. "And don't say nothing."

"Nothing!" she said. It was obvious that wasn't true.

Oliver gave her a beseeching look. "The truth, please." She'd only ever given him the truth. There were no lies between them. He couldn't let her ruin that with a flimsy excuse now. He wanted no lies to tarnish their partnership. And that's what she was. His partner. He depended on her to always be there, the voice in his earpiece, his conscience. He depended on her to always give him the truth.

She haltingly began to speak. "You might've noticed I talk a lot."

"It has not escaped my attention," he told her, giving her a fond look. It was one of the things he loved about her. She never forced him to talk, to be that care-free man he used to be. Most of the time, she spoke enough for both of them, and she read his silences better than anyone. Some of the time, though, words weren't necessary between them.

"You might've noticed I don't talk a lot about my family," she said, looking a little haunted at the reminder.

"I have noticed that," he acknowledged. She knew every sordid detail about his family and all he knew about her was that she was Jewish. He respected her privacy, though. He knew she'd share more when she was ready.

"My mother is…well…she's my mother," Felicity began. Oliver knew all he needed to know by those words and her tone.

"I don't really know what my father is because he abandoned us. I barely remember him, but what I do remember is how much it hurt when he left. Just the thought of losing something that important to me again." Her voice started to crack as she was overcome with emotion.

Oliver reached out to her, hating to see her so upset, so afraid. He didn't care who was watching. The desire to offer her comfort was stronger than any rumors his touching her might start. He knew what she was afraid of. Her fear of losing him was tangible. Sometimes—most times really—he could read her like a book. The desire to slay her every dragon, to comfort her rose up inside of him. "Hey, you're _not_ going to lose me. Whatever this is that's bothering you…Is it about your family?" Somehow he'd find a way to make things better for her. She was the one person in his life who was basically happy, who had no real demons—at least none that he knew about. He needed her to stay that way. He needed to see her smile every day or his world wouldn't be right.

"No, it's about yours," she said, giving him a compassionate look.

Then she told him what she'd found out. When she finished talking, they stood there staring at one another. She was waiting for him to break; he could feel the cracks beginning in his foundation. His mind was spinning. He clenched his fists because he wanted to break something. Once again, his faith was destroyed.

He knew their public roles were the only thing keeping Felicity from hugging him. She clenched her fists to keep from reaching out to him. It was her nature to offer him comfort; it was not his nature to seek it. However, that never stopped her from giving it.

How was he supposed to tell the city to vote for his mother when he, her own son, had no real idea who she was or what she was capable of? Felicity's silent compassion reached out to him. It was enough to push him forward. He said the words that were expected from him. His mother's lie forced him to add another lie to his collection. Only his love for Thea kept him reigned him, kept him from renouncing his mother for the liar she was. As he spoke, his eyes locked mostly on Felicity's. She was his beacon in the storm. As much as he wanted to anchor himself in her unwavering support and love, he knew he was too broken for her. He would destroy her as he had Laurel, as he had Sarah.

He gave the audience the words they were expecting, the rushing in his ears kept everything else out. He gave his mother the perfunctory hug. He couldn't resist telling her, "I know." He plastered on his fake smile and hugged his sister. Thea could never know.

He didn't even know how to begin to deal with this latest revelation from his mother. Thea was Malcolm's daughter. She was Tommy's sister. Did it change the way he felt about her? Of course not. Would it destroy her if she ever found out the truth? Most definitely. Another secret he had to bear. Another way a parent of his had let him down.

Fortunately, Sarah's problem distracted him from his own. However, the foolish woman had decided to sacrifice herself needlessly to save her family. Oliver heard her fall. He released Nyssa and ran toward her. He gave her the antidote for the snake poison. He'd correctly anticipated it would come into play once again. Of course, he never expected Sarah to drink it willingly.

"Sarah, you hold on! Stay with me! Stay. Come on! Not again!" He'd seen her die twice. He couldn't bear to have history repeat itself again. Was he cursed to forever repeat the same mistakes? Lose the same people again and again?

Relief coursed through him when she began to stir. She would be okay. He wasn't going to lose someone else he cared about. Not tonight. Now he had to deal with his mother.

He went to see her.

"I know we need to talk," his mother began before he cut her off.

"You need to listen. For the past year, I have stood by your side, and I've fought because I wanted to believe you weren't this… monster. And I needed to believe that I still had a mother," he spit out. He could barely look at her. How could this woman be the woman he'd worshiped and adored his entire life? Was everything always a lie?

"You do!" she insisted coming toward him.

He held up his hand to stop her. He couldn't bear to have her touch him. She had broken his heart once again. Her concern and fake hurt at his words was more than he could stomach. If he was really hurting her, did that make him the monster she was? He didn't know. He just knew he couldn't deal with her touching him, pretending she loved him. How could you love a lie? How could a lie love you? The pain and confusion he felt when he looked at her was too much. He could barely look at her.

"Oliver, I only lied about Thea to protect her from Malcolm!" she said.

"No, you lied because that's what you do. And that's who you are, Mom. Lies. And now you've made a liar out of me. Because Thea can never find out about Merlyn. She can never know the truth about us. Which is as of right now, we have no relationship. I will keep up appearances for Thea's sake. And publicly I will support your campaign. Privately, you and I are done," he informed her, meaning every word. He couldn't keep letting her disappoint him. Hadn't he withstood enough pain? Hadn't he been punished enough for his mistakes? Did he and Thea have to continue to suffer for theirs? The desire to escape turned him away from her.

"Oliver!" she called out to him, trying to keep him from leaving.

He held up his hand to stop her once again from getting close to him. It was killing him to say those words to his mother. He loved her. He always would. But how could he look at her? How could he let her be close to him when he couldn't trust her? He'd ignored the role she'd played in his own father's death. He'd made excuses for her role in the Undertaking. He wanted so badly to believe she was a good person. That she could be trusted. Once again she'd let him down. She'd betrayed that trust. Paying off the doctor who knew the truth about Thea was just proof that she would never change. She would never be the woman he thought she was.

He went to Verdant. The one place he could be himself. He worked out his frustration on one of the dummies. Sarah came in. He stopped and looked up as she entered.

"You've been crying," he said to her. He hated it when women cried. He always had. Not wanting to see Laurel's tears was part of the reason he never told her he didn't want to move in with her. Instead, he had started a fling with her sister. If she was angry and hated him, she wouldn't cry. That had been his thinking anyway. How stupid he had been!

"I was just happy to know I still could," Sarah said ruefully.

He got that. Tears reminded them that they were still human. They were proof that they hadn't let the island destroy the bit of good inside of them that they were determined to hold on to. Looking at her, he was reminded strongly of how much alike they were. "Are you okay?" he asked in concern.

"Laurel wasn't as thrilled to see me as you thought."

"Give her time."

"I gave her six years," Sarah said warily.

Instead of trying to tell her hiding for six years and letting Laurel think she was dead was not giving Laurel time, he just continued beating his dummy. Sarah still had a lot to learn. Oliver had his own demons to slay. He couldn't slay hers for her.

"What exactly are you taking out on that dummy?" Sarah finally asked.

Oliver stopped and looked at her, debating what to share. He didn't want to add another burden to her. Like him, she had enough burdens of her own. "My mother…she's not who I thought she was," he admitted.

She nodded in understanding. "I guess it's going around," she replied with a sardonic smile.

"So what now?" he wondered.

"I don't know," she said, looking a bit lost.

Oliver knew how she felt. He felt pretty lost himself. Without his mother, he was left spinning. He needed something to grab hold of.

"I don't either," he told her. He didn't know the answers. Not for her. Not for him. He just knew he was tired of fighting. He was tired of being disappointed.

"I know one thing," Sarah said.

"What's that?" he asked

"I'm home," she shared.

Oliver looked at her to see if she meant it. Was she going to run out on him, too? He saw in her eyes the same pain, the same ghosts he saw in his own eyes every time he looked in the mirror. They'd both been through the fire and came out on the other side. The world they'd returned to wasn't the same. Their families weren't the same. _They_ would never be the same. As he looked at her, he saw the same desperation he felt.

She was hurting. So was he. She needed something from him. Oliver wanted to help. He wanted to ease her suffering. He wanted to escape his own, so he reached out and grabbed her, pulling her to him, hoping quite desperately to be lost in her embrace. He needed something to anchor him. His world kept falling apart on him. His foundation kept crumbling.

Even as he kissed her and felt the familiar passion rise up that she'd inspired long ago, he knew it wouldn't last. He'd been here before, and it had fallen apart in the worst way possible.

Was he doomed to keep repeating the same mistakes? He didn't know and for the next few hours he couldn't—he wouldn't think about it. The future seemed impossible, so he tried not to think about it. Only the moment mattered.

_******The End*****_

_It makes me sad that we can't see any real growth in Oliver when it comes to women. That fact that Sarah and Oliver would gravitate to each other isn't so surprising, of course. But Oliver did this to Tommy with Laurel, now they are both doing it once again to Laurel. If Sarah can't see why she and Oliver can never be together, then maybe Laurel's right about her. I actually felt sorry for Laurel for the first time tonight. Sarah jumping Oliver's bones just proves Laurel isn't really unfairly judging Sarah. Sarah having a crush on Oliver first never made him hers. Laurel had a long term relationship with him and her sister had an affair with him. No way to color that and make Sarah, whom we all like, the victim in this. _

_I hope you liked this! Reviews are appreciated! FYI: I have a sequel to this story called "Get off the Merry-Go-Round"._


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